Hi everyone. Here goes nothing:
Howard.
It’s an honor to be here with you, Alex.
No, Alex, the honor
is all mine. It’s something
ingestible: something I’ll keep
until the next piss.
Would you mind telling us a little about yourself?
Yes.
How is it you came to be drunk, slumped
over your own doorstep, talking to yourself?
It all started with
Chopin. I find
if I press my face
hard enough
into the venetian blinds,
maybe he’ll go away.
And the others?
It’s hard to have friends
when you wear a different
head for each of them. You
have to do more laundry that way.
Heads should be good for more than one wear
like pants.
So, how do you do it?
I’ve managed to assemble
a working self from the rummage.
Managed to glue
the face together,
to make out the smile
of someone who thinks they know you.
But would you ever really want to be friends with someone who speaks the way poems are written?
Hark, the crumbling leaf
stapled to the wall, glowing
embers of gemstone dragonfly
table lamps, the artichoke
in a vase, pastel
pictures of me groping
for my own back.
Now you’re just listing things in your bedroom.
Depends, whose poetry
are we talking. I’d never
kiss someone who writes
poems like mine.
How is it you write so haphazardly?
As with clouds you
have to be on a first name basis
with your poems.
This poem goes by his middle name.
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The dialogue worked really well for me in this piece. I'm confused about the title "Howard" (Is that the title? Or is it the first line?) and how it relates. Otherwise, I absolutely love this. It's quite different from other works of yours I've read. Great way to kick off the blog.
ReplyDelete"groping for my own back" should be in the running for a title. My favorite image. contorted, desperate, frustrating
ReplyDeleteI like the multiple personalities, but the us, you, we could be a little more consistent. Are you talking to yourself or yourselves? If it is significant that there are multiple, why give them all one voice? (one of 'them' asking all the questions). Think about giving the 'heads' different characters if you plan on making this a longer piece, or getting drunk again =)
Also, I'd leave out 'As with clouds' in the final stanza because it doesn't really come off as 'haphazard'. The following lines fit your tone perfectly without it.
Alex, thanks for being the first to post. I enjoyed getting inside your head(s) (though I shouldn't assume the subject is the poet..). If you have any questions, by all means...
Wow, thanks guys. So, Howard is in fact supposed to be a title. It's my dad's middle name and is thereby a reference to the last line. Normally, in a workshop format such as this, I wouldn't take the liberty of explaining that. But I do so to ask, if I were to make that clearer, would I be able to pull it off? Or is it too cutsie anyway and I should take Lola's advice?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Lola, you're absolutely right about the pronouns. It is confusing the way I wrote it. I'll get on that immediately. Thank you both so much!
I found this poem refreshingly original. I love the idea of an interview, especially when the answers are poetically nonsensical. It contains a delightful irony. This coupled with the un-apologetic self-consciousness of the narrator and the poem's willingness to talk about itself makes for a great read.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the title needs a change, though the inspiration for the poem may have come from your Dad, the poem is functioning in a way that it can stand alone. I like the line about the poem going by its middle name, I think that that is more interesting than adding a kind of explanation or narrative.
Also, it took me awhile to realize the narrator was interviewing herself. This could be a little clearer in the beginning. However, once I figured it out that the poet as self was interviewing a sort of seperate self as the subject of her own writing, I was super excited. Work on honing in on the best language a bit, perhaps give more of a voice to the interviewer.
Great job
Meg
"It's hard to have friends... like pants" <--- great stanza.
ReplyDeleteMmm... "gemstone dragonfly" "pastel pictures". That whole stanza feels good to say, or mouth.
ReplyDeleteThe gluing the face together thing brings to mind kind of disturbing imagery, especially with the line about the smile. Although it's someone else's smile, I suppose? I think I saw it as the speaker's because you were talking about the glued face right before it, so that stanza was kind of disturbing. In a good way, though. Like psychologically...